For Three Days, A Student Again
This time last week I was up in the Skagit River Valley sitting in the early fall sun eating wood-fired bagels and chatting with farmers, millers and bakers at the Kneading Conference West. I made homemade soba noodles, learned the ins and outs of sourdough starters, and sat in on a session where we tasted crackers baked with single varietal wheats. It was like wine tasting, but with wheat and the whole time I kept pinching myself, thinking: THESE ARE MY PEOPLE! I don’t get the opportunity to be a student much these days — usually on the other side of things teaching cooking classes or educating people at the farmers markets about whole grains and natural sugars. So to just sit and listen with a fresh (red!) notebook and a new pen was surprisingly refreshing. I miss it already. Thankfully, this cookie recipe has come back as a memorable souvenir, and one that is sure to be in high rotation in our house in the coming months.
In reflecting on the conference and what I learned, one of the best parts about the whole thing was witnessing people so excited about their work and craft. Farmers talked about their grain-drying machinery with such excitement it was contagious (despite the fact I wouldn’t know a grain-drying apparatus apart from a hair dryer, in truth).
I met Dawn Woodward of Evelyn’s Crackers and we chatted about Red Fife wheat, entrepreneurship and farmers markets. She led a great whole-grain baking class with cookbook author, writer and photographer Naomi Duguid. We huddled outside next to the wood-fired oven and made Montreal-style bagels, biscotti, pear cardamom skillet cake, and these little thumbprint cookies which Dawn sells at her farmers market booth back in Toronto.
In all of the conversations I had over the three days, the one topic that kept coming up is how to balance the work we love with the life we envision for ourselves. One of the key presenters was a farmer who lives in Upstate New York, Thor Oechsner, and has an innovative business model in that he mills his own flour and has a bakery on site where they sell goods to the public. It’s not often that you can stroll into a bakery and purchase a muffin made from the wheat grown right on site. When asked by an audience member, “what’s next?” he paused for a long time and said he’s trying to figure out how to scale down, actually. He’s gotten so good at scaling up and adding on the next big thing — over and over — that now he wants to figure out how to make more time to play his accordion and eat dinner with his partner at night. The feeling seemed to strike a chord with many of us, and reminded me of an article I read in the New York Times a few weeks back.
The piece was called “You Can’t Have it All But You Can Have Cake” by writer Delia Ephron, and it managed to connect the notion of “having it all” — that elusive and hotly-debated concept that has gotten so much press this year — with Ephron’s experience in New York City bakeries: “To me, having it all — if one wants to define it at all — is the magical time when what you want and what you have match up. Like an eclipse. A total eclipse is when the moon is at its perigee, the earth is at its greatest distance from the sun, and when the sun is observed near zenith. I have no idea what that means. I got the description off a science Web site, but one thing is clear: it’s rare. This eclipse never lasts more than seven minutes and 31 seconds … Which is why I love bakeries. Peace descends the second I enter, the second I smell the intoxicating aroma of fresh bread, see apricot cookies with scalloped edges, chocolate dreams, cinnamon and raisin concoctions, flights of a baker’s imagination, and I know I am the luckiest person in the world. At that moment, in spite of statistical proof that this is not possible, I have it all.”
It’s notable because all of the talk around “having it all” tends to be focused on what is, often, our particularly American understanding of it: marriage, kids, the perfect work/life balance, interesting travel, local food. You get the picture. But here, Ephron talks about the smaller moments where we can feel the eclipse — where we can feel like we do have everything we need in that one moment. For Thor Oechsner, the farmer in Upstate New York, it sounds like this eclipse would happen in a quiet room with his accordion. For me, it happened sitting outside next to a warm oven amidst a layer of “Pacific Northwesty” fog with nowhere in particular to go.
And this morning when I baked up these cookies before Sam got up (and maybe again when we had two with our coffee) I had it again. It was a slow morning, despite the weekday-ness of it. When I laced up my boots for the first time this season and noticed that particularly Autumn gold of the sunlight falling into our yard, I had it yet again.
This cookie recipe is based on one that Dawn gave the group for Rye Poppyseed Thumbprint Cookies. I’ve been on a big buckwheat kick lately, so I used buckwheat flour instead of rye flour, thinking that the flavors of the buckwheat would compliment the very special apricot jam we’ve had sitting in our cupboard for awhile. I made them a few times, futzing with the flour measurement to get them just right, and made a few tweaks to the method to guarantee perfectly crumbly home-baked cookies. You could certainly play around with another whole-grain flour that you’re excited about — I can’t imagine a more forgiving recipe for such experimentation. You could also coat these in toasted sesame seeds instead of poppy seeds (next on my list) or even unsweetened coconut.
The thing I love about these cookies is they’re pretty legitimately rustic. You can envision them being made in simple kitchens one hundred years ago, with no more in the way of equipment than a bowl and a fork to cream the butter and sugar. There’s no fear of over-mixing, perfect incorporating, aeration — anything other than just making sure all the ingredients are in your bowl. And combined well. That’s my kind of baking. I can become overwhelmed with fancy French recipes that require much tending and perfect, precise temperatures and techniques (Or, my imprecise oven can become overwhelmed with these). But this kind of rustic whole-grain baking? This is where I feel most at home.
To learn more about Kneading Conference West, check out their website.
The event is annual, so maybe you’ll join us next year?
Buckwheat Poppy Thumbprint Cookies
- Yield: 10-14 cookies
- Prep time: 10 mins
- Cook time: 20 mins
- Total time: 30 mins
Keep in mind that these cookies are different from some other baking recipes in which you’re looking to cream the butter and the sugar for a number of minutes to introduce air into your dough. Here, you really just need to mash the sugar into the butter we
Preheat the oven to 375 F. Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper.
In a medium bowl, cream the butter and sugar together with a fork (or your hands). Add the egg yolks, vanilla extract, salt and flour. Mix well and knead together a few times with your hands to gather the crumbly pieces of the dough together.
Roll walnut-sized pieces of dough into a ball.
Whisk the egg whites until slightly foamy and place poppy seeds in a nice, shallow bowl.
Roll balls of dough in egg white and then in the poppy seeds. Set on baking sheet and flatten slightly with the palm of your hand. Make indent with your thumb and fill with 1/4 – 1/2 teaspoon of jam.
Bake for 18-20 minutes or until the dough has turned a golden brown — the cookies should feel soft and they will firm up as they cool. Cool on cookie sheet for 15 minutes. Enjoy warm. Or room temperature. In the morning — or in the evening. Store covered at room temperature.
Healthy Comfort Food
Thai Carrot, Coconut and Cauliflower Soup
People describe raising young kids as a particular season in life. I hadn't heard this until we had a baby, but it brought me a lot of comfort when I'd start to let my mind wander, late at night between feedings, to fears that we'd never travel internationally again or have a sit-down meal in our dining room. Would I ever eat a cardamom bun in Sweden? Soak in Iceland? I loved the heck out of our tiny Oliver, but man what had we done?! Friends would swoop in and reassure us that this was just a season, a blip in the big picture of it all. They promised we'd likely not even remember walking around the house in circles singing made-up songs while eating freezer burritos at odd hours of the day (or night). And it's true.
Oliver is turning two next month, and those all-encompassing baby days feel like a different time, a different Us. In many ways, dare I say it, Toddlerhood actually feels a bit harder. Lately Oliver has become extremely opinionated about what he will and will not wear -- and he enforces these opinions with fervor. Don't get near the kid with a button-down shirt. This week at least. He's obsessed with his rain boots and if it were up to him, he'd keep them on at all times, especially during meals. He insists on ketchup with everything (I created a damn monster), has learned the word "trash" and insists on throwing found items away on his own that really, truly are not trash. I came to pick him up from daycare the other day and he was randomly wearing a bike helmet -- his teacher mentioned he'd had it on most of the day and really, really didn't want to take it off. The kid has FEELINGS. I love that about him, and wouldn't want it any other way. But, man it's also exhausting.
Cheesy Quinoa Cauliflower Bake
I just finished washing out Oliver's lunchbox and laying it out to dry for the weekend. My favorite time of day is (finally) here: the quiet of the evening when I can actually talk to Sam about our day or sit and reflect on my own thoughts after the inevitable dance party or band practice that precedes the bedtime routine lately. Before becoming pregnant for the second time, I'd have had a glass of wine with the back door propped open right about now -- these days though, I have sparkling water or occasionally take a sip from one of Sam's hard ciders. Except now the back door's closed and we even turned on the heat for the first time yesterday. The racing to water the lawn and clean the grill have been replaced by cozier dinners at home and longer baths in the evening. You blink and it's the first day of fall.
Stuffed Shells with Fennel and Radicchio
I'd heard from many friends that buying a house wasn't for the faint of heart. But I always shrugged it off, figuring I probably kept better files or was more organized and, really, how hard could it be? Well, I've started (and stopped) writing this post a good fifteen times which may indicate something. BUT! First thing's first: we bought a house! I think! I'm pretty sure! We're still waiting for some tax transcripts to come through and barring any hiccough with that, we'll be moving out of our beloved craftsman in a few weeks and down the block to a great, brick Tudor house that we wanted the second we laid eyes on it. The only problem: it seemed everyone else in Seattle had also laid eyes on it, and wanted it equally as much. I'm not really sure why the homeowner chose us in the end. Our offer actually wasn't the highest, but apparently there were some issues with a few of them. We wrote a letter introducing ourselves and describing why we'd be the best candidates and why we were so drawn to the house; we have a really wonderful broker who pulled out all the stops, and after sifting through 10 offers and spending a number of hours deliberating, they ended up going with ours. We were at a friend's book event at the time when Sam showed me the text from our broker and I kind of just collapsed into his arms. We were both in ecstatic denial (wait, is this real?! Did we just buy a house?) and celebrated by getting chicken salad and potato salad from the neighborhood grocery store and eating it, dazed, on our living room floor. Potato salad never tasted so good.
Smoky Butternut Squash and Three Bean Chili
If your house is anything like ours, last week wasn't our most inspired in terms of cooking. We're all suffering from the post-election blues -- the sole upside being Oliver's decision to sleep-in until 7 am for the first time in many, many months; I think he's trying to tell us that pulling the covers over our heads and hibernating for awhile is ok. It's half-convincing. For much of the week, instead of cooking, there'd been takeout pizza and canned soup before, at week's end, I decided it was time to pour a glass of wine and get back into the kitchen. I was craving something hearty and comforting that we could eat for a few days. Something that wouldn't remind me too much of Thanksgiving because, frankly, I can't quite gather the steam to start planning for that yet. It was time for a big bowl of chili.
To Talk Porridge
Porridge is not the sexiest of breakfasts, it's true. It doesn't have a stylish name like strata or shakshuka, and it doesn't have perfectly domed tops like your favorite fruity muffin. It doesn't crumble into delightful bits like a good scone nor does it fall into buttery shards like a well-made croissant. But when you wake up and it's 17 degrees outside (as it has been, give or take a few, for the last week), there's nothing that satisfies like a bowl of porridge or oatmeal. It's warm and hearty and can be made sweet or savory with any number of toppings. The problem? Over the years, it's gotten a bad rap as gluey or gummy or just downright boring or dutiful -- and it's because not everyone knows the secrets to making a great pot of warm morning cereal. So let's talk porridge (also: my cookbook comes out this month! So let's take a peek inside, shall we?)
You had me at Montreal-style bagels.
And eclipses. And 7:31 minutes, at most.
All of it.
Oh Megan, thank you for this.
Mardi (eat. live. travel. write.)
Megan I followed along in instagram the whole weekend but thank you for posting this. Sounds like a wonderful weekend indeed and those cookies? Yes please!
Thanks, Mardi! I'm so glad you were enjoying the photos and yes -- these cookies--. The best part is they're such a breeze to make and kind of impossible to mess up. Hope you're doing well; enjoy the weekend, ~Megan
I have read your blog regularly for some time now and have really enjoyed it a lot. But this piece especially stuck a cord with me. I think you created a little eclipse moment for me today! Thank you so much and the best wishes to you from rainy autumnal Berlin, Germany.
Thank you, Katharina! I'm so glad you're enjoying the blog + thank you for taking the time to leave a sweet comment. Enjoy your rainy autumnal weekend. ~Megan
Paula @ Vintage Kitchen Notes
Homemade soba noodles! How amazing. My kind of people too.
I have been wanting to go the Kneading Conference in Maine for a few years and I hope I'll get to go sometime in the next few. Sounds wonderful!
I loved that article, too, because it so important to be reminded that there are moments, just moments when we do have it all and more.
Anna! You should go; it was an amazing few days and I've heard the one in Maine is equally awesome with some of the same folks. Enjoy your weekend! ~Megan
Sold! I just slid two trays of these in my oven. Can't wait to try them!
HOORAY! Let me know what you think. I've had two for breakfast again this morning :)
UPDATE: Love them! Covered 'em in chia seeds and filled the insides with pear compote, and i've already eaten four, and I can tell you I'm not done for the afternoon... Winner!
SO AWESOME! Makes my day! Love the idea of chia seeds (you're good!) ... and the gal that gave us the recipe makes an apple/pear compote to fill hers with for the fall markets. So I think you're onto something :) xox
A recipe for a sweet bite that I actually have everything I need for already - thank you! The jar of peach compote I just opened yesterday will be perfect. On another note ... I LOVE what you said about having it all. I haven't read Ephron's piece, but I know exactly what she/you mean by those small moments where what you desire and what you just "is" are both present, and your heart is both fully satisfied and fully at rest. Thanks for sharing. :)
Just wanted to say thanks for this delicious cookie recipe and for the link to the piece. Excellent food for thought. :)
Megan I love when your post so hit the mark. These cookies perfectly fit the way we have been cooking & eating in our house. Thank you, Suzanne
P.S. I too love the feeling of being a student.
Kiran @ KiranTarun.com
Sounds like a perfect way to enjoy an autumny weekend. I'd take a few of this delicious cookies to go :)
Oh my gosh, Megan! It is so inspiring reading words from someone who loves what they do and is such an observer of life's moments. It is softly raining here and will be a "making pumpkin cookies" kind of day. My small eclipse. Thanks to you I have something to muse about while I bake.
Thanks, Mom! I miss your pumpkin cookies .... maybe I should whole-grainify them for the blog, hmm?
your words have touched me very much, it could be my thoughts. just yor 'seven minutes and 31 seconds bakery time' - thank you!
Salvegging @ salvegging.blogspot.com
What a lovely piece. "Rustic whole grain baking is where I feel at home"...I couldn't agree more : )
I just made these with barley flour and a second batch with oat flour and used a blackberry-port jam I had made. I love the nutty flavor of the barley flour a lot. I have some buckwheat flour in the freezer that is locally ground that I will use tomorrow morning to make one more batch with some nectarine-pear jam I made to take a wine festival with me as a snack.
Magnificent post, Megan!
lying on a fluffy pink blanket reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar to my 7 week old daughter this morning was a 7min 31sec slice of perfection. As were the minutes I spent eating leftover pork tenderloin while pouring over a new cookbook. It's the little things. Thank you for posting that article, I had missed it. It's one of those articles that I know I'll read over and over again, because it's so good and so true and because I often need reminding that I can't have it all / don't want it all and that all I really want is a chocolate croissant - ha! Excited to try these cookies, they look and sound delicious.
Just made these with part finger millet flour and part all purpose, used sesame instead of poppy seeds and raspberry preserves...and they are awesome! Thank you so much for giving out such a fabulous recipe.
I randomly have a huge supply of poppy seeds and am constantly trying to think of ways to sneak them into recipes. These cookies are right up my ally. Beautiful, M!
I love a good thumprint cookie and this recipe sounds like a good one - I especially love that it sounds as though it isn't too sweet. I have some homemade grape jelly at home and I am thinking that would work wonders in cookie like these!
Beautiful post as well, my notion of 'having it all' keeps on changing and these days is far from what I thought would make me happy when I was younger - I think that is important too, to ensure we are happy right now and not to constantly plan for the future, not only because we cannot control it but also because we just don't know what might make us happy years down the line.
You are absolutely right. I think our notion of "having it all" does change when we're older. I used to feel it was so much about career, and while that's important, I find quiet time at home to be equally so these days. I think you'll really like the cookies: simple and delicious. Enjoy!
These came together so easily. I used half poppy seeds and half raw sugar to roll the dough, less virtuous but so pretty. I did a few with apple butter and they're less attractive than the ones I did with rose/crabapple jelly, be careful using too thick of a spread.
Great flavor combination ideas, Jess. So glad you enjoyed the cookies -- I'm making another batch myself this afternoon with pear butter. ~Megan
I really enjoy your writing and the recipes that you share. These cookies were delicious - thank you for sharing
Thanks so much, Elizabeth! Glad you enjoyed the recipe. Enjoy the rest of your week, Megan
What a wonderful event, and Montreal style bagels? Only the best there are .... I am wildly intrigued by this recipe, as I have never used buckwheat flour before. Looks like I need to hit baking season running by trying this recipe first!
It was a treat to be just hanging out learning, D. And you'd love buckwheat flour: it's dark and almost silky in texture (and gluten-free!) and bakes up one mean cookie. I've had lots of readers and friends try these and all have loved them as much as we did. Hope you're doing well. Miss you! Let's catch up soon!
Great post, beautiful images from both your photographs and your words.
Thanks so much, Kendra!
I love using buckwheat flour and I love the sound of these!
hey! what brand/kind of buckwheat flour do you use/recommend? I've been using Bob's but it seems like a lighter one is better!
Hi do like Bob's too but I've tried Arrowhead Mills as well and theirs tends to be a bit on the lighter side. I hope that helps + enjoy the recipe! ~Megan
Thanks for sharing! For the record, they are quite delicious, even when seedless (I had mixed everything and only then did I discover I had no seeds, poppy,sesame or otherwise...). With a dollop of apricot jam- yum!
Awesome, Jess! Yes I haven't made them in far too long ... I Need to fix that asap. Glad to know they were good seedless, too. Have a great weekend, Megan
I made these and they were delightful. I used chia seeds instead of poppy seeds.. really delicious.
Thanks so much! I made them with 100% gf buckwheat, oil and cashew cream and baked apple sauce instead of jam. And they're gf and "failsafe" for my food chems sensitive kids! Thanks so much for a new cookie in our limited rangr!
Those sound wonderful! So glad you all liked them. ~Megan
So I made these for the first time last Christmas when I went on a gluten-free cookie baking spree so my brother could get his sweet fill too, and OMG, they were so amazing! I've made them several times since and even turned the basic ingredients into a brownie/blondie recipe because the flavors are so good together. Two adjustments I made: I roll the dough balls in Chia seeds instead of poppy which makes the egg white dipping obsolete because Chia will adhere to anything remotely wet and also found that skipping the egg white wash leaves you with perfectly round, smooth cookies. They kinda disintegrated a bit during baking when I first followed your instructions. Anyway, the nutty flavor of the Chia goes perfectly with the malty flavor of the buckwheat and add that to sweet raspberry jam and... starry eyes!! Very happy I found this - as is my whole family. We dubbed them Ox Eye cookies. 😁
Thanks a lot!!
YUM, Julie! I cannot wait to try this version! I really love the simplicity of this recipe and yes, they're so dang good, aren't they? Thanks so much for the great feedback. Your cookies are on my list now!
Nice spin on a Thumbprint cookie. I like that there's only 1/2c sugar in it. I cut back a bit on the flour, added ground some walnuts and oatmeal, plus a dash of coconut... turned out really nice. Used a mixed-berry jam. YUM. Thanks.
*(I mean 1/3 cup sugar)
Sounds delicious! Thank you so much for sharing :)
I personally found these odd-tasting--a little too far from a traditional cookie--but I made them for a gluten-free friend and she ate 3 in the blink of an eye. I made half with poppy seeds, half with chia seeds, and used 3 different jams that I had on hand (apricot, raspberry, and Ikea's cloudberry). There aren't a lot of GF cookie recipes that don't involve xanthum gum and I try to avoid special ingredients that I'll never finish, so this fits a nice niche for me. I want to try the chocolate rye thumbprints next as those seem more like something I would enjoy.