Meet Frances
Friends. It’s been awhile. But baby Frances is here so there hasn’t been much free time to sit down and write. She’s here, she’s here! After what felt like a verrrry long pregnancy, Frances arrived one day before her due date at a little before 9 am on a cold but unusually sunny late January morning. Those of you who have been readers for awhile may remember that our son Oliver was born completely bald and remained that way for almost two years (!) but sweet Frances has a full head of hair, a hefty appetite, and loves to rock n’ roll from around 8 pm until at least midnight.
In my case, it was true what they say about second labors: it was quicker and my physical recovery has been much easier. Of course, both Sam and I are adjusting to the sleep deprivation, which feels particularly real this time around as we also have an Oliver who demands so much time and attention. We were all blessed (insert immense sarcasm here) with an unusual snowstorm last week which closed down schools and roads and, well, I’ll just never forget the period of being completely cooped up inside the house with a newborn and a toddler for what felt like an eternity. Sam kept telling me I’d look back on those days with such fondness as I was anxiously checking the weather forecast; I kept telling him I wasn’t so sure. It felt like a lot to manage. But! We seem to be on the other side: the snow’s melting, school’s starting up on Wednesday and we’re all finding a groove together. Oliver is truly wonderful with Frances. We’ve heard stories from friends about their older kids acting out or being aggressive with the new baby, and that hasn’t been the case at all for us. Oliver is really loving and wants to help when he can. He can’t wait to say good morning to his baby sister, and keeps a hand on her while she’s on the changing table if I need to step away and wash my hands. He’s also started to tell me what she needs when she’s crying as if he’s a seasoned father, which I’m finding endlessly endearing.
I haven’t had a chance to write down Frances’ birth story or begin to fill in her baby book. Soon, I hope. Frances will be a month old this Thursday, and my biggest challenge and greatest goal this time around is to not look to the future with her — to not think, Oh I can’t wait until she’s three months old and sleep will even out. Or, I can’t wait until she can smile and laugh and interact more with us. We are sure that this is our last child, my last baby – the last time I get those tiny nighttime naps on my chest and sweet milky breath. The last time we’ll marvel and talk about what kind of baked good her head smells like (I vote a blueberry muffin); the last time we’ll walk around at all hours of the night, room lit with our battery powered candles, moving through the Now that will soon become a distant memory.
So in addition to making Frances curtains for her room and organizing and printing our family photos during my maternity leave, I want to try my hardest not to dream about easier times in the future. Being in the thick of newborn parenting is hard. But there’s a lot of sweetness, too, and in everyone’s case it’s a fleeting sweetness; in our case, it’s a fleeting sweetness that we know we won’t experience again. So while I’m inclined to rush through the laundry, renew our car insurance, and sweep the kitchen during the downtime I have throughout the day, I’m trying to remind myself of the importance of sitting and breathing in Frances. Now is the only time.
Healthy Comfort Food
Thai Carrot, Coconut and Cauliflower Soup
People describe raising young kids as a particular season in life. I hadn't heard this until we had a baby, but it brought me a lot of comfort when I'd start to let my mind wander, late at night between feedings, to fears that we'd never travel internationally again or have a sit-down meal in our dining room. Would I ever eat a cardamom bun in Sweden? Soak in Iceland? I loved the heck out of our tiny Oliver, but man what had we done?! Friends would swoop in and reassure us that this was just a season, a blip in the big picture of it all. They promised we'd likely not even remember walking around the house in circles singing made-up songs while eating freezer burritos at odd hours of the day (or night). And it's true.
Oliver is turning two next month, and those all-encompassing baby days feel like a different time, a different Us. In many ways, dare I say it, Toddlerhood actually feels a bit harder. Lately Oliver has become extremely opinionated about what he will and will not wear -- and he enforces these opinions with fervor. Don't get near the kid with a button-down shirt. This week at least. He's obsessed with his rain boots and if it were up to him, he'd keep them on at all times, especially during meals. He insists on ketchup with everything (I created a damn monster), has learned the word "trash" and insists on throwing found items away on his own that really, truly are not trash. I came to pick him up from daycare the other day and he was randomly wearing a bike helmet -- his teacher mentioned he'd had it on most of the day and really, really didn't want to take it off. The kid has FEELINGS. I love that about him, and wouldn't want it any other way. But, man it's also exhausting.
Cheesy Quinoa Cauliflower Bake
I just finished washing out Oliver's lunchbox and laying it out to dry for the weekend. My favorite time of day is (finally) here: the quiet of the evening when I can actually talk to Sam about our day or sit and reflect on my own thoughts after the inevitable dance party or band practice that precedes the bedtime routine lately. Before becoming pregnant for the second time, I'd have had a glass of wine with the back door propped open right about now -- these days though, I have sparkling water or occasionally take a sip from one of Sam's hard ciders. Except now the back door's closed and we even turned on the heat for the first time yesterday. The racing to water the lawn and clean the grill have been replaced by cozier dinners at home and longer baths in the evening. You blink and it's the first day of fall.
Stuffed Shells with Fennel and Radicchio
I'd heard from many friends that buying a house wasn't for the faint of heart. But I always shrugged it off, figuring I probably kept better files or was more organized and, really, how hard could it be? Well, I've started (and stopped) writing this post a good fifteen times which may indicate something. BUT! First thing's first: we bought a house! I think! I'm pretty sure! We're still waiting for some tax transcripts to come through and barring any hiccough with that, we'll be moving out of our beloved craftsman in a few weeks and down the block to a great, brick Tudor house that we wanted the second we laid eyes on it. The only problem: it seemed everyone else in Seattle had also laid eyes on it, and wanted it equally as much. I'm not really sure why the homeowner chose us in the end. Our offer actually wasn't the highest, but apparently there were some issues with a few of them. We wrote a letter introducing ourselves and describing why we'd be the best candidates and why we were so drawn to the house; we have a really wonderful broker who pulled out all the stops, and after sifting through 10 offers and spending a number of hours deliberating, they ended up going with ours. We were at a friend's book event at the time when Sam showed me the text from our broker and I kind of just collapsed into his arms. We were both in ecstatic denial (wait, is this real?! Did we just buy a house?) and celebrated by getting chicken salad and potato salad from the neighborhood grocery store and eating it, dazed, on our living room floor. Potato salad never tasted so good.
Smoky Butternut Squash and Three Bean Chili
If your house is anything like ours, last week wasn't our most inspired in terms of cooking. We're all suffering from the post-election blues -- the sole upside being Oliver's decision to sleep-in until 7 am for the first time in many, many months; I think he's trying to tell us that pulling the covers over our heads and hibernating for awhile is ok. It's half-convincing. For much of the week, instead of cooking, there'd been takeout pizza and canned soup before, at week's end, I decided it was time to pour a glass of wine and get back into the kitchen. I was craving something hearty and comforting that we could eat for a few days. Something that wouldn't remind me too much of Thanksgiving because, frankly, I can't quite gather the steam to start planning for that yet. It was time for a big bowl of chili.
To Talk Porridge
Porridge is not the sexiest of breakfasts, it's true. It doesn't have a stylish name like strata or shakshuka, and it doesn't have perfectly domed tops like your favorite fruity muffin. It doesn't crumble into delightful bits like a good scone nor does it fall into buttery shards like a well-made croissant. But when you wake up and it's 17 degrees outside (as it has been, give or take a few, for the last week), there's nothing that satisfies like a bowl of porridge or oatmeal. It's warm and hearty and can be made sweet or savory with any number of toppings. The problem? Over the years, it's gotten a bad rap as gluey or gummy or just downright boring or dutiful -- and it's because not everyone knows the secrets to making a great pot of warm morning cereal. So let's talk porridge (also: my cookbook comes out this month! So let's take a peek inside, shall we?)
Diane
Oh my gosh - this is such a beautiful and poignant post Megan! Do enjoy Frances and all that newborn parenting brings. xx
megang
Thank you, Diane! Always a treat to see your name here. We're hanging in there - wishing for a little more sleep, but ... to be expected, I suppose :)
Kathleen
Welcome to the world, Baby Frances! Megan, she is so sweet! I love her portrait! Congrats to all of you! <3 K
megang
Thank you so much, Kathleen! xoxox
Sarah
So many congratulations! This is such a beautiful perspective. First time around I didn't realise how fleeting it was, now hoping for a second and the chance to drink it all in again.x
megang
I agree, Sarah. First time around I didn't realize it either ... and it really does change so quickly. I'm happy to have that perspective now - as well as the perspective that nothing stays the same (always a good reminder on those sleepless nights). xo
Cristina
Dear Megan, thanks for sharing these precious moments with baby Frances! How lovely to read about Oliver being such a doting and responsible big brother :-) A big hug from Italy, where your lovely cookbook is always on rotation
megang
Awww, thanks you Cristina. That's so sweet of you to say. Happy to hear my cookbook's in rotation in a kitchen in my very favorite country.
Lynne
Congratulations! Such a gorgeous baby girl. Bless you all.
megang
Thank you so much, Lynne!
Lori
Dear Megan,
She is beautiful as is Oliver. You are so smart to just be in this moment because you are correct, it won't last long.
When did Oliver get so big!
Lori
megang
Hi, Lori! Always nice to see your name here. Thank you so much. I know: all of a sudden Oliver looks 8 to me!!
Susan
WHAT a BEAUTY!! Thank you for those gorgeous pictures.
megang
Oh too nice, Susan. Thank you so much :)
Mary
Welcome, Frances - beautiful! BIG congrats to Oliver, you + Sam! XO
megang
Thank you, Mary! xoxox
Anne
How beautiful Megan! Congratulations and what stunning photos!
Sleep is in your future:)
megang
Thank you so much, Anne. I hope you're right (about the sleep)!!
Beryl Alexander
What a beautiful piece of writing. A daughter is a treasure, totally different to a son. You are so right to savior this precious time, it goes by so quickly. Congratulations to all 4 of you!
megang
Oh thank you, Beryl. So nice of you to say :)
Carole
Congratulations! You have two beautiful children and I applaud you for your positive realism.
megang
Thank you, Carole!!!
Debra
Megan.. I can't get over how much you look like your mom on the photo of you and your two kiddos! I'm so impressed and in "awe of you"... giving birth,havng a toddler, surviving a snowstorm, and writing an amazing post of your life in the past almost month! You've always been a "shoot for the sky" person
Best wishes and love, your sixth grade teacher, Debby McIntosh(Newby)
megang
Mrs. Newby! What a treat to see your name here - absolutely made my day. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment. I do look like my mom - it's true! Yes, having a baby and a toddler (especially during the snowstorm) has proven to be a bit challenging but thankfully I have a superstar Dad as a partner - I'm really not sure how single parents do it! Sleep hasn't been abundant, so that's our biggest challenge but hoping that'll even out eventually. I suppose it always does eventually :) Thank you again for taking the time to comment. Means so much! xoxo
Adriana
Blessings to your beautiful family, you are so right, enjoy this moment. You made me go back to when my son was born and my daighter was two. I can’t believe it’s been 18 years!
megang
Awww, thank you Adriana. I know: time flies! I feel like my son was just a baby and now he's negotiating with me at dinner about how many pieces of broccoli he'll eat :)
Ashley
She is so precious. I love this. We just had our third and I think it will be our last as well. I have been so different with him. I just want to stay little and delicious for as long as possible. I love snuggling him and all the things he does as a tiny boy. I can totally understand how you’re feeling.
megang
Hi, Ashley! Congratulations on your third! Boys are the best :) And thank you for the sweet comment. Hope you're all setting in well!
Leela
Amazing— all of it !!!
megang
xoxo!!
Cassidy
Congratulations!! So happy for your little family!
megang
Thank you, Cassidy!
Beth Cole
Congratulations!! She is so cute. Love hearing how Oliver is pitching in!